The Night After the Morning After

Holy shit. I thought getting back on the horse would help ease the pain from falling off the horse. Or whatever. I mean, I know I fell off the horse on purpose, but wouldn't the cure be the same?

I hobbled to the rink this hot and sweaty southern June night to get back on that proverbial horse. There was an older gentleman there with his grandson playing soccer, but they cleared out when I began my stretches. He sat on the bench and we chatted for a minute. He was excited to hear that I was going to try out for the BRRG team and told me, "If you're strong and you're tough, you'll make it." I am the latter, but still working on the former. And tonight? Not feeling so tough. It is hard to look like you are strong and/or tough when your thighs hate you.

Every crossover felt like my skates weighed 100 pounds. I tried to practice falling and got myself back up only due to the fact that the grandpa was watching. Otherwise I swear I would still be laying there.

After a while it felt a little bit easier, and I made myself push through it. That said, I was off the rink and out of my pads in under one minute when I saw lightening strike suddenly and the clouds began rolling in. I made it home just before the downpour, and just in time to comfort the shaking, panting pit bull and the old big brown dog pacing on three legs as I changed and made dinner.

My old husky/shepherd girl, bela, has a nerve tumor that is causing her muscles to waste away. She no longer uses her left front leg for anything and hops around like a large, hairy 85 pound bunny. When she goes from a laying position to a full down position on her side, she just kind of collapses due to her no longer having a trapezius muscle. You can hear her head hit the floor from any room in the house. It is heartbreaking, but she doesn't seem to mind, and aside from strapping a pillow to her head I am not sure how to help her.

That is how I sit down now. I go lower, lower, loooower, and WHUMP I collapse into the chair/bed/bench. No control, no grace. It hurts. I just begged my dear roommate to go get something for me just so I wouldn't have to repeat the whole unattractive scene again. Me and bela. The 105 year old and I.

And tonight I discovered by pure accident that I have been wearing my wrist guards backwards. This explains why I have bruises on my arms from where, when I practiced a full on-all-fours-fall, the guards were slamming into my skin. Check. Noted. Fixed. Think I am going to need new ones anyway...the rubber(?) is coming off from using them (albeit incorrectly) only one night.


I hope I sleep tonight. Tomorrow I am going to eat 25 bananas, I swear.

Boot Camp

It's the morning after. It's not as bad as I thought, but I still can't walk right. My thighs have been beaten. Candy said that the derby stance (low) would make it hard to sit on a toilet for awhile and, man, she was right. But it was amazing! The BRRG ladies demonstrated what we are going to have to do for the tryouts at the end of August, and then we had the opportunity to practice them and ask questions. Skating on all 8 wheels, falling on all fours, then landing on left knee and right knee, weaving, cutting, stepping, etc. I thought I might die. My legs were a puddle of jelly after an hour. I have so far to go but I plan to go there quickly. I could feel my body learning and adjusting as the boot camp progressed. I am going to be doing balance exercises while I brush my teeth, and calf exercises while I order my coffee.

I didn't sleep last night. I figured I would be out like a light, but I couldn't stop playing out the moves in my head, trying to make them familiar. Around 5 am I got up and ate a sandwich. I am going to have to ingest more calories for sure.

Heading out to Carrier park tonight. I can't wait.

PS: I love falling. Why is that?

PPS: As for names? I am leaning towards Shady Gaga. Also: Alpha RollHer and Em Fatale. But there is just so much you could do with a Lady Gaga reference....